What a lame excuse !

Staying in touch with what is happening back home is a bit of a challenge, when you're overseas. I try my best to keep up with the latest news from India, and i manage it to a certain extent.

The tough part is to keep up with Bollywood. The rate at which films (ahem...) are churned out is absolutely insane, and watching the films is almost impossible. I decided however that i'll try my best to watch the occasional Indian film.

I downloaded and watched "Don", with Shahrukh Khan in it, remake of the original 70's super hit starrring Amitabh Bachchan.

Well, what can i say? Shall i start with the good or the bad? I think i'll start with the good. There's less of that, you see, so its easy to get it out of the way.

So the film is slick. Really slick. The look of the film is great, and is executed well. No purple pants, no yellow shirts, no jumping around trees, no fake love scenes (in fact no love scenes at all). Of course, the slickness is derived from Hollywood. A fine mix of Matrix (the fights are all kung fu style), Mission Impossible (do all theives wear a black skull cap?), James Bond (who the hell detonates a bomb from a watch?) and Con Air (do they really have those planes with caged seats?)

Period. There is nothing else watchable in this film. Khan cannot act, and the film only re-affirmed my long standing conviction that if you take off his eyebrows, he is like a blind man in a dark alley. No one, repeat, no one can step into the shoes of the BigB as Don, and halfway through the film, Shahrukh makes you cringe, keel over and puke your guts out. His portrayal of any negative character is stuck in the time warp of "Darr" !

There is absolutely no characterisation in the film. The other actors are just walking zombies. I lost all respect for Boman Irani after seeing him play the wuss-iest villain ever. Priyanka Chopra should hang herself, even if without reason !

The biggest disappointment : Farhan Akhtar !
Dude, what happened? I loved Dil Chahta Hai, and you gave us a superb film in Lakshya.
What even made you think you could re-create Don?
Some things are best left untouched, especially the classics. I hope you have learnt that now !


On the other hand, Casino Royale will release soon in France. I'm waiting to see Daniel Craig as Bond, especially after someone said that if he wants to continue playing Bond, he should get a botox injection to relax his furrowed brow. Figures, considering Bond is supposed to be a cool customer even if Russia is going to fry the globe with a death ray from space.

I want to watch this film in English, and i hope i can. As funny as it may sound, i do not fancy hearing Bond go "Je m'appele Bond, James Bond", or "Martini... agité, pas remué"